Ahaha, ça me rappelle mon examen, à la fin le moniteur me dit "Parfait monsieur, vous avez juste oublié d'appeller l'ambulance au début". Ah ca quand on veut tout faire soit même ;-)
Pour ma part, je suis passée en dernière pour l'examen. A mon retour, tous les autres candidats étaient allongés par terre, Dix personnes"inconscientes". J'ai réfléchis trop longtemps, le moniteur m'a dit : "trop tard, t'es morte d'intoxication au dioxyde de carbone"...j'ai rien eu le temps de faire.
Bonjour Qui est ce Pierre Volto qui envoie ces dessins sur flickr.com? Marion Montaigne n'existerait-elle pas? Y a-t-il un usurpateur?
Quant au real_ass_hole (titre de la photo) il m'a bien fait rire! Ce pauvre âne va-t-il avoir droit aux 1ers secours lorsqu'on l'aura tiré de son puits?
vu que c'est un blog scientifique, je me permet de préciser qu'il s'agit probablement d'une intoxication au monoxyde de carbone, plutôt. Voilààààà (yark)(comme la mouette de Gaston)
Salut Marion, bravo, ton blog me fait mourir de rire, je me file une grande claque sur la cuisse à chaque fois tellement je rigole. Question batmanesque : à ton avis, pourquoi Batman parle avec une voix comme si on lui avait retiré la trachée alors que pas du tout?
Pourquoi Batman parle comme ça : pour faire peur aux gens, et pour qu'on ne reconnaisse pas la voix de Bruce Wayne. La queqtion serait plutôt : comment fait-il ?
Je suis moi aussi moniteur premiers secours (PSC1 maintenant)et on voit que tu as finalement retenu pas mal de choses Marion. Ta version humoristique est véritablement très proche de la réalité ;) @ Gabian: moi je le donne le livret et je ne demande pas d'argent pour mes formations (je ne fais donc pas parti de la croix rouge...)
Je donne ce livret et ce CD (produits "Croix Rouge", je te le rappelle)aux stagiaires de la formation traditionnelle qu'évoque Marion, mais il est achetable par ceux qui ne la suivent pas. Et je fais partie de la Croix Rouge, partie avec un e, ce qui fait que non seulement je suis moniteur, mais j'écris en français. Et je ne termine pas mes messages par des points de suspension, refusant les sous-entendus afférents.
pour batman,il a un tout petit haut- parleur au niveau de la pomme d'Adam sur son costume.c'est subtil mais vrai (enfin j'espère que je l'ai pas imaginé) merci Marion pour ce blog qu'il est bien et qui m'a fait découvrir la fonction marque page permanent (qui porte certainement un nom plus scientifique nico (mais anonyme quand meme)
Chers Aurore et Wood, je pense qu'avec tout le matos que Batman se trimballe avec son costume (des lance bombes, des ailes, des machins qui volent), il peut bien cacher un micro dans son col. Non, le mec qui est super fort, c'est Superman. Il retire ses lunettes, il fait une petite boucle à sa mèche et plus personne ne le reconnait! Anonyme et Gabian: On m'a donné le livre et le CD à la fin de la formation. Je rejette de temps en temps un coup d'œil au livre parce que j'oublie toujours le nombre de compressions qu'il faut faire (au cas où). Puisque vous êtes formateurs: est ce que ça ne vous fait pas du mal de lâcher dans la nature des gens qui risquent de casser 6 côtés à quelqu'un? Est ce que leur massage peut néanmoins être efficace en cassant tout? Je serai au festiblog dimanche...vous voulez pas être dans le coin, parce que si on est dehors, on va risquer l'hypothermie.
D'ailleurs j'ai tellement aimé ton blog que j'ai acheter Panique Organique dans la librairie de ton quartier (au dire de la responsable). Il est fidèle à ce blog, excellent! bravo!! pas de festiblog pour toi ce we?
bah, est ce qu'il vaut mieux rester en vie les cotes cassees que mourir avec toutes ses cotes? huhu
ce qui me fais peur c'est d'avoir une reaction trop exagérée, genre me retrouver à faire du bouche à bouche à quelqu'un qui s'est fait piquer par un moustique pendant la nuit...
Rythme des compresseions / insufflations = 30 / 2. Trente compressions, deux insufflations, et on recommence. Il y a en réalité des cas particuliers, je réserve la formation réelle pour ça... 30 / 2, avec ça déjà, on peut sauver du monde ! Quant à casser des côtes, le geste est appris avec des précautions d'usage en formation pour éviter l'inconvénient, mais si ça casse tant pis : le coeur de la personne inanimée ne bat que parce que JE le fais pomper, alors un bobo aux côtes, franchement...
C'est ce que nous as dit la dame de la croix rouge à la JAPD! "Si vous lui cassez les côtes c'est pas grave, ça se répare, alors que mourir moins". Par contre il faut appeler le 15 avant parce qu'après on ne peut plus interrompre le massage... Un gars aurait fait ça pendant 4 heures parcequ'il avait oublié d'appeler avant... Il a continué jusqu'à ce que quelqu'un passe dans le coin...
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Quand c'est bien fait (appui au milieu de la poitrine, sur la zone sternale), pas de danger. Si on casse une côte, tant pis, le coeur doit pomper, JE le fais pomper en comprimant, tant pis pour les inconvénients. Mais on ne pète pas six côtes et on ne transperce pas le poumon... Et si vous avez fait mal à la victime et qu'elle vous traite de tous les noms : vous avez été efficace, elle respire.
De mon coté, de mémoire et sauf erreur de ma part, j'avais entendu qu'une ou deux côtes cassées sont synonyme d'un massage cardiaque efficace... Info ou intox?
@ sof : intox ! 4 à 5 cm de compression verticale sur le sternum, ça PEUT occasionner une fracture de côte, mais ce n'est en aucun cas un indice de mouvement correct. C'est un gros inconvénient qui peut survenir, c'est tout.
@ gabian:Merki!, je mourrais moins bête (plagia) C'est officiel, mon ex, ancien sapeur pompier volontaire, était vraiment rien qu'un paon fanfaronnant et trop sûr de lui...
hu hu hu la derniere case est excellente, c'est tellement ça !! on ne peut pas s'empecher de se la peter quand on a l'AFPS ! cela dit il parait qu'ils ont changé la norme pour les compressions thoraciques ? et bientot j'ai mon recyclage avec formation au defribillateur ! yeah ! si c'est pas la classe qui tue sa race ça !!! un deux ! DEGAGEZ !!! il me taaarde
@ nanou "via soph'"? kezako? Je dois me sentir concernée ou c'est un duplicata de pseudo? Parce que si on parle de moi sur le blog de Marion Montaigne, je me la pète grave!
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Génial ! ça sent le vécu ! Pour en avoir fait plusieurs séances, je dois avouer que c'est très très bien vu et proche de la réalité ! Bravo !
RépondreSupprimerJe viens d'exploser de rire au bureau, grillée ! En tout cas, excellent, c'est vraiment ça !
RépondreSupprimerEnizya
_Omoplate, non ? :-P
RépondreSupprimerha oui...Hétéroplate, ça marche pas non plus. Désolée!
RépondreSupprimerZep: Vous avez retenu tout ce que vous avez appris? Pas moi!
Meeerdeeee…
RépondreSupprimerJ'ai bu trop de thé et j'ai rigolé et j'ai fait pipi avant d'arriver aux toilettes…
C'est malin…
Je ne vous dis pas merki.
Ahaha, ça me rappelle mon examen, à la fin le moniteur me dit "Parfait monsieur, vous avez juste oublié d'appeller l'ambulance au début". Ah ca quand on veut tout faire soit même ;-)
RépondreSupprimerPour ma part, je suis passée en dernière pour l'examen. A mon retour, tous les autres candidats étaient allongés par terre, Dix personnes"inconscientes". J'ai réfléchis trop longtemps, le moniteur m'a dit : "trop tard, t'es morte d'intoxication au dioxyde de carbone"...j'ai rien eu le temps de faire.
RépondreSupprimerHihihi, j'adore.
RépondreSupprimerPas un petit mot sur la PLS ? Super à mettre en position sur quelqu'un de trop lourd pour soit hihihi
Bonjour
RépondreSupprimerQui est ce Pierre Volto qui envoie ces dessins sur flickr.com? Marion Montaigne n'existerait-elle pas? Y a-t-il un usurpateur?
Quant au real_ass_hole (titre de la photo) il m'a bien fait rire!
Ce pauvre âne va-t-il avoir droit aux 1ers secours lorsqu'on l'aura tiré de son puits?
Arg. J'ai déjà épuisé mon compte flickr...j'ai donc entamé celui de mon copain...pierre V
RépondreSupprimerA votre bon cœur messieurs/dames, venez en aide à une brute en manque d'élèves.
RépondreSupprimerOu bien un ticket restaurant pour manger chaud.
Merci
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vu que c'est un blog scientifique, je me permet de préciser qu'il s'agit probablement d'une intoxication au monoxyde de carbone, plutôt. Voilààààà
RépondreSupprimer(yark)(comme la mouette de Gaston)
Ha oui, mince: monoxyde de carbone...C'est parce que j'ai pas pris mon goûter...j'ai faim.
RépondreSupprimerMwahaha, j'ai dit exactement la même chose en sortant du dernier Batman ^^
RépondreSupprimerBon, me voilà rassurée.
RépondreSupprimerPas pour l'âne cela dit.
Salut Marion, bravo, ton blog me fait mourir de rire, je me file une grande claque sur la cuisse à chaque fois tellement je rigole. Question batmanesque : à ton avis, pourquoi Batman parle avec une voix comme si on lui avait retiré la trachée alors que pas du tout?
RépondreSupprimerPourquoi Batman parle comme ça : pour faire peur aux gens, et pour qu'on ne reconnaisse pas la voix de Bruce Wayne. La queqtion serait plutôt : comment fait-il ?
RépondreSupprimerLa formation dure 10 heures avec le nouveau programme.
RépondreSupprimerLe livret fourni avec la formation Croix Rouge peut être acheté à part, 5 euros la plupart du temps, et il est TRES bien foutu, CD compris.
Et ce genre de BD m'amuse beaucoup, j'adore le 'ta gueule' à la fin !
PS : je suis formateur secourisme à la Croix Rouge, et j'ai une formation demain matin !
PS 2: mon blog n'a rien à voir avec ça.
Je suis moi aussi moniteur premiers secours (PSC1 maintenant)et on voit que tu as finalement retenu pas mal de choses Marion. Ta version humoristique est véritablement très proche de la réalité ;)
RépondreSupprimer@ Gabian: moi je le donne le livret et je ne demande pas d'argent pour mes formations (je ne fais donc pas parti de la croix rouge...)
@ anonyme :
RépondreSupprimerJe donne ce livret et ce CD (produits "Croix Rouge", je te le rappelle)aux stagiaires de la formation traditionnelle qu'évoque Marion, mais il est achetable par ceux qui ne la suivent pas.
Et je fais partie de la Croix Rouge, partie avec un e, ce qui fait que non seulement je suis moniteur, mais j'écris en français.
Et je ne termine pas mes messages par des points de suspension, refusant les sous-entendus afférents.
pour batman,il a un tout petit haut- parleur au niveau de la pomme d'Adam sur son costume.c'est subtil mais vrai (enfin j'espère que je l'ai pas imaginé)
RépondreSupprimermerci Marion pour ce blog qu'il est bien et qui m'a fait découvrir la fonction marque page permanent (qui porte certainement un nom plus scientifique
nico (mais anonyme quand meme)
Uhu, tout ceci est très drôle :)
RépondreSupprimerChers Aurore et Wood, je pense qu'avec tout le matos que Batman se trimballe avec son costume (des lance bombes, des ailes, des machins qui volent), il peut bien cacher un micro dans son col.
RépondreSupprimerNon, le mec qui est super fort, c'est Superman. Il retire ses lunettes, il fait une petite boucle à sa mèche et plus personne ne le reconnait!
Anonyme et Gabian: On m'a donné le livre et le CD à la fin de la formation. Je rejette de temps en temps un coup d'œil au livre parce que j'oublie toujours le nombre de compressions qu'il faut faire (au cas où).
Puisque vous êtes formateurs: est ce que ça ne vous fait pas du mal de lâcher dans la nature des gens qui risquent de casser 6 côtés à quelqu'un? Est ce que leur massage peut néanmoins être efficace en cassant tout?
Je serai au festiblog dimanche...vous voulez pas être dans le coin, parce que si on est dehors, on va risquer l'hypothermie.
note trés utile encore une fois!
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Il est fidèle à ce blog, excellent! bravo!! pas de festiblog pour toi ce we?
Si! Festiblog pour moi dimanche après midi. A côté de Boulet, comme ça, on aura l'impression que j'ai du monde moi aussi.
RépondreSupprimerBelle leçon de secourisme !!!!
RépondreSupprimerbah, est ce qu'il vaut mieux rester en vie les cotes cassees que mourir avec toutes ses cotes? huhu
RépondreSupprimerce qui me fais peur c'est d'avoir une reaction trop exagérée, genre me retrouver à faire du bouche à bouche à quelqu'un qui s'est fait piquer par un moustique pendant la nuit...
nan
Rythme des compresseions / insufflations = 30 / 2. Trente compressions, deux insufflations, et on recommence. Il y a en réalité des cas particuliers, je réserve la formation réelle pour ça... 30 / 2, avec ça déjà, on peut sauver du monde !
RépondreSupprimerQuant à casser des côtes, le geste est appris avec des précautions d'usage en formation pour éviter l'inconvénient, mais si ça casse tant pis : le coeur de la personne inanimée ne bat que parce que JE le fais pomper, alors un bobo aux côtes, franchement...
C'est ce que nous as dit la dame de la croix rouge à la JAPD! "Si vous lui cassez les côtes c'est pas grave, ça se répare, alors que mourir moins". Par contre il faut appeler le 15 avant parce qu'après on ne peut plus interrompre le massage... Un gars aurait fait ça pendant 4 heures parcequ'il avait oublié d'appeler avant... Il a continué jusqu'à ce que quelqu'un passe dans le coin...
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RépondreSupprimerIl vaut mieux être en vie avec des côtes cassées que mort avec des côtes intactes. On parle de gens dont le coeur s'est arrêté quand même !
RépondreSupprimerMais les côtes cassées peuvent blesser un organe non? Genre les poumon. Voire le cœur? Non?
RépondreSupprimerQuand c'est bien fait (appui au milieu de la poitrine, sur la zone sternale), pas de danger. Si on casse une côte, tant pis, le coeur doit pomper, JE le fais pomper en comprimant, tant pis pour les inconvénients. Mais on ne pète pas six côtes et on ne transperce pas le poumon...
RépondreSupprimerEt si vous avez fait mal à la victime et qu'elle vous traite de tous les noms : vous avez été efficace, elle respire.
ah merde dimanche pas sur d'être là
RépondreSupprimerBon festiblog
De mon coté, de mémoire et sauf erreur de ma part, j'avais entendu qu'une ou deux côtes cassées sont synonyme d'un massage cardiaque efficace...
RépondreSupprimerInfo ou intox?
@ sof : intox !
RépondreSupprimer4 à 5 cm de compression verticale sur le sternum, ça PEUT occasionner une fracture de côte, mais ce n'est en aucun cas un indice de mouvement correct. C'est un gros inconvénient qui peut survenir, c'est tout.
@ gabian:Merki!, je mourrais moins bête (plagia)
RépondreSupprimerC'est officiel, mon ex, ancien sapeur pompier volontaire, était vraiment rien qu'un paon fanfaronnant et trop sûr de lui...
hu hu hu
RépondreSupprimerla derniere case est excellente, c'est tellement ça !! on ne peut pas s'empecher de se la peter quand on a l'AFPS !
cela dit il parait qu'ils ont changé la norme pour les compressions thoraciques ? et bientot j'ai mon recyclage avec formation au defribillateur ! yeah ! si c'est pas la classe qui tue sa race ça !!!
un deux ! DEGAGEZ !!! il me taaarde
J'ai bien ri aussi. Bravo !
RépondreSupprimerJ'arrive via Soph' et j'adoooore!
RépondreSupprimerhuhu ! j'adore...
RépondreSupprimer@ nanou "via soph'"? kezako?
RépondreSupprimerJe dois me sentir concernée ou c'est un duplicata de pseudo? Parce que si on parle de moi sur le blog de Marion Montaigne, je me la pète grave!
Marion, une photo, Marion, une photo (air connu)
Marion, vous avez un talent incroyable !
RépondreSupprimerIl y a du Wolinski dans le trait, du Vuillemin dans l'humour décalé et une façon de nous faire rire très efficace.
Félicitations pour ce blog ! Et merci à Soph' (lestoujoursouvrables) de nous l'avoir recommandé.
@ françois..
RépondreSupprimerMerci pour l'indice...
je sors
C'est exactement ça qui se passe.
RépondreSupprimerJ'ai eu les mêmes types de gens bizarrement. x)
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